Razor - the Scooter Boy

Maddening, heartbreaking, agonizing. All words I can freely use to describe my relationship with my teen-age son. Here I'll call him Razor. Has ADHD (like me), OCD and who knows what else. Wants to leave home, but he still has another year until he's legal age. Did OK in school last semester, but I think this semester he'll end up failing. Currently trying to get rid of a larceny charge for "observing" shoplifting taken off his record. He's strong-willed, intelligent, lazy and indolent. It would take me hours to describe all the things that got us to here in the relationship. Over time I'm sure that little snips will come out. We're currently living through a humorous "bump in the road".

He has a PUTMA account that is supposed to hold his savings. Early on in his part-time job, he put half of his paycheck in there. The idea was for him to save for car insurance and a car if he got far enough along. When he started the "I want to get away from you" theme last year, I thought he saw the benefit of the account for saving money so he could leave when he was 18. Recently he's stopped depositing, buying really important things like a Crossman plastic pellet gun and a Nerf machine gun. (you'll understand if I tell you we no longer have real guns in the house) He's still making graniose statements about leaving, but now he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of making it happen over the long term. He's not adding to his cushion, and in fact is bristling that he can't spend it.

He came home the other night after riding a buddy's scooter. "I'm gonna buy one. Take the money out of savings and get one and ride all over" he told me. Seems that in our state, scooter operators need neither license or insurance - for vehicle or operator. I laughed. The putma account requires his mom's signature. She's solidly against motorcycles. Wifey told Razor multiple times that if he came home with one she'd take a sledgehammer to it. I don't know what Razor was thinking about how he was going to make it happen, but we both let it slide.

Two days ago he came to me and asked if I'd help him "haggle" with the sales guy for buying one. "You don't have the money", I told him. "Mom will let me have it". (bwa-hahaha. When pigs fly) With a straight face I told him, "Razor, when Mom tells me specifically that she's signing for you to get the money and she approves of buying a scooter, I'll gladly go with you". As with everything, Wifey and I discussed the coming storm.

Which happened yesterday. He asked and she refused. He's outraged. I figured out that I messed up telling him that I would go with him, even under conditions that I knew would never happen. He's on our medical insurance. Until he's 18 and out of the house, I'm not going to take the risk of the financial damage that would certainly occur if he got himself messed up in an accident.

Now, he's pretty much uncommunicative. Making excuses for missing meals. Boiling under the surface. Wonder what he'll do? He's shown that he'll go around us any way he can to get his way - regardless of the damage he does.

Well, it will take 4-6 weeks for him to save enough on his own to get what he needs to go to the next step. Calm before the storm?