The First Post

Took me long enough to get here and get the first post up. I started a blog called "CryingBulldogs" on blogspot a month or so ago, but somehow in my old age I lost the login information. Typical. In a way though, I like BulldogTears better.

Why?

Time marches on, and I anticipated that. I always imagined that life would begin to slow in my late 50's, but really thought I had a decade of "to the limit" pushing ahead. The slowdown came earlier than I thought - with the onset of multiple sclerosis. Atypical. One incident. But it made me mentally about 85% of what I used to be. Seeing as I'm trying to build another business after selling one 18 months ago, its frustrating trying to deal with "what is" instead of what was or what "should be". Well, no one said life was fair.

The MS is a candle-on-the cake event that crowns a gradual erosion of personal idealism. For a while there I told my wife I was getting too cynical in my old age. But it's more than simple cynicism... the world is coarser now. We're finally reaping the seeds of relativism that were sown 40 to 50 years ago. It troubles me deeply that we've lost our sense of community, of sacrifice, common values. For a couple of years I lectured my teen age son about how the meaningful path to success was doing the right thing. Both because it served the greater good of society and because it represented how we ourselves would want to be treated in our dealings with others. Alas, the modern world is not that way any more.

That's the message of this blog. I need a place to vent. To log the ridiculous, outrageous and unbearable. And there's a lot. Personal stuff. About people whose jobs and self proclaimed image is defined as doing the right things by others. Schools. Social Services. Care Providers. Much more on that later. Our (my wife and I) journey is not credible - to the point that we don't tell anyone about it anymore. We just try to hold on to each other and what family we have left. The goal is now to get through this day, this week, this month. Its gotten to the point its about survival. At the same time the prospects of society, democracy and civic rights has never looked dimmer.

Early in my life, I was fortunate to meet and work with wealthy and successful people. From my observations, the thing that set them apart was how they could stand above the day-to-day and take a long view of both the immediate situation and life in general. To a person they had and attitude of servitude and adhered to the Golden Rule. I was taught by them that the best thing was the "right thing" even if it meant a loss of profit or personal hardship. So far, their teaching has stood me in good stead. BUT...

With plunging 401k's, crushing debt, a weakening economy and an uncertain future for the individuals and institutions in this country, I'll offer object lessons later that made me stop talking to my teenage son about integrity and doing the right thing. If your not too selfish to stand up and look around, you can see folks of all stripes making decisions in short sighted selfishness. Media, finance, politics, industry. Everywhere.

If what I think is happening comes to pass, God help us all. And I don't mean that allegorically, but literally.